Of Luke and Lorelai
by adrift
Summary: Previously called It's Getting Better All the Time. Edited and improved. No new chapters, but one's on the way. [LL]
1. Of Dreams and Kisses

Chapter 1 – Of Dreams and Kisses

"_I just don't lie awake at night  
Asking God to get you off my mind_"

Brooks & Dunn, 'It's Getting Better All the Time'

- - - - -

_Lorelai thought things were going to be great. Christopher was back in her life, at least for now, and this time he sounded serious. They were going to start things up with each other; again. In the past, something or another had always prevented them from being the family Lorelai wanted; her, Rory, and Chris, all together. _

_But of course, things couldn't work out. Christopher had gotten his girlfriend Sherry pregnant. Being the new and responsible Chris, he claimed that he didn't want to mess this one up. Christopher had left, leaving Lorelai to walk down the aisle, pretending to be happy. And now Lorelai had nobody. Rory was in Washington, D.C., and she and Luke weren't exactly on the best of speaking terms. _

These thoughts and more went through her head as she walked around the town. She circled the square at least five times, weaving her way in and out of the side streets. She wasn't crying, at least not yet. It would take some time for things to set in; Chris was gone and never coming back. She was alone, again. Lorelai carried her strappy sandals in her hand, her hair falling in her flushed face. It was then that the first few tears began to come.

It was the night of Sookie's wedding. The happy couple had disappeared after the ceremony, doing Lord knows what. Lorelai had lingered for a bit, dazed and in shock, after Christopher had left. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew she had been walking for at least a few hours. She stopped then, brushing the hair from her face. She was standing in front of Luke's.

The diner was closed up. Luke leaned with his elbows on the counter, taking a break from the strenuous cleaning he had to perform every night. A sponge rested next to his arm, idle for the moment. Lorelai took a deep breath, jiggling the handle of the door. It was locked. Luke looked up, stiffening as he saw who was there. There were tears on her face, and, pitifully, Luke swiftly moved to let her in. Lorelai stepped thankfully into the safety of the diner, into the warm arms of her friend, Luke.

Luke was a bit taken aback. He hadn't civilly spoken with Lorelai in a while, and it was quite unlike her to need a hug. Still, Luke wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close, somewhat uncomfortable. He knew when she needed a friend. He knew everything about her. The heel of Lorelai's shoe poked him in the back and he flinched, but he didn't let her go. A few muffled words of hers made their way past the flannel of Luke's shirt as she cried into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Luke," she sobbed.

Luke released her from the hug, taking her by the hand and gruffly speaking in reply.

"Come on. I'll get you some coffee and you can tell me what's wrong."

Once she was settled at the counter with a cup of coffee and a donut, Lorelai looked up at Luke. He was still, a fair distance away from her. She knew that crying women made him uncomfortable, so she tried her best to stop, sniffing. A wry attempt at a smile was given, and Lorelai tried to avoid the subject of her grief.

"Thanks for the coffee. You sure know the way to a girl's heart," she joked.

Luke, seeing right through her, flicked off the switch of the coffee maker, giving her a hard look. Lorelai panicked at the thought of no more coffee and began to talk with a shrug.

"This is the second time I let myself do this," she started.

"Do what?"

"Think I finally found it."

"Found what?" Luke replied in his usual fashion.

"Love, comfort, safety," she looked down at her coffee mug, wrapping her hands around it. "I mean, first with Max, which of course, I screwed up, and then with Christopher, which of course, all the elements of the universe got together to screw up."

She looked back up at Luke, who was staring at her. He didn't say anything, but his expression told her to go on.

"I always thought if he could just get it together, grow up – maybe we could do it. Maybe we could really be a family, in the stupid, traditional 'Dan Quayle, golden retriever, grow old together, wear matching jogging suits' kind of way. And then he did get it together – he became that guy... and he gets to be that guy with her. Chris is gonna have a baby with his girlfriend. He's gonna marry her... and he's gonna be there for her while she's pregnant and he's gonna be there with her while her child grows up, and he's gonna be there for her while she does... whatever it is she does. And I am in exactly the same place that I was in before."

"Is that so bad? I mean, you've got Rory, friends, a house, a job…" he trailed off, shrugging.

"No, it's not so bad. I'm lucky, I know. I just... I feel like I'm never gonna have it... the whole package, you know? That person, that couple life, and I swear, I hate admitting it because I fancy myself Wonder Woman, but... I really want it – the whole package," she finished then, wiping the tears from her face.

Luke looked a bit uncomfortable, as if he didn't know what to say next. On a whim, he went with the first thing that came to mind.

"You know… um… I'm not it, the whole package, whatever… but you'll always have me," he stated simply.

Her face broke into a smile then, and she reached across the counter to lay a hand on his arm. Her hand was soft and warm, and Luke looked down with embarrassment.

"Thanks Luke. I know that," she replied softly.

Lorelai removed her hand and stepped back, avoiding his gaze. She hadn't looked at him closely all night, afraid that she still might find a bit of anger and resentment in his eyes. But then, hers met his and she was reminded of her dream, the one where she was pregnant with Luke's twins. She looked at him strangely then, remembering when he had kissed her in the dream. She blushed, and he cleared his throat, obviously flustered for some reason. Lorelai, seized with impulse, put her hand over his where it rested on the counter.

Perhaps it was that she was lonely and heartbroken, or perhaps it was her dream. Either way, Lorelai locked her eyes with Luke's and stood from her chair, making her way behind the counter. Luke, troubled, stood still and slid his hand out from beneath hers. Lorelai would not be wavered, however. Feeling a bit high, as if drunk, she grabbed both of his hands with hers, interlocking their fingers.

Luke could only goggle with wide eyes. She was inches from his face now, her blue eyes dark in the dimness of the diner. He licked his lips in anticipation as her hands moved to rest on his cheeks. Luke closed his eyes, awaiting the inevitable kiss. It was then that Lorelai spoke softly, her voice husky. She was crying again.

"I dreamed about you," she said, "and in my dream you kissed me."

And then she kissed him. Lorelai was kissing him. Lorelai was kissing Luke. Luke was kissing Lorelai. Luke and Lorelai were kissing. For years he had dreamed of this moment, the one when he would kiss Lorelai for real. She tasted sweet, like coffee as well, and he gratefully deepened the kiss. His hands were tangled in her hair, reveling in the soft curls. When Lorelai flung his baseball cap from his head to run her fingers through his hair, a shiver went down his spine. However, when she reached for the buttons of his shirt, a warning alarm dinged shrilly in his head. Luke finally realized what they were doing, what he was doing. When she shrugged the flannel shirt from his shoulders he backed away.

This was wrong. It was very wrong. As much as he loved her, Luke did not want her to do anything that she might regret. Most of all, he was afraid. Afraid that Lorelai would use him as she wished, then cast him aside with a broken heart. Mustering all of the strength he had left, he gripped her shoulders hard and looked into her eyes. Lorelai, confused, stumbled to get the words out.

"Luke? What's wr-" he cut her off.

"Lorelai, listen to me. You don't want to be doing this. I know it and you know it. Please, just stop now, before you hurt me any more than you already have." Luke stated with emotion.

Every word he spoke was like a dagger through her heart. Lorelai didn't know what he was talking about. How had she hurt him? Of course, everybody in the town knew that Luke was totally in love with her except Lorelai herself. What she would see as a night of appreciating what she has, Luke would see as his dream finally coming true. Lorelai shrugged, her hair falling into her face.

"I must say, I don't know what you're talking about. Now, shut up and kiss me again; it's much better than in the dream," she blurted.

Leaning forward, she reached for him, but his hands on her shoulders stopped her. Surprised, she looked up to find Luke giving her a hard stare. He knew she was telling the truth; she had no idea that he was madly in love with her. But seeing her, standing there so sexy and seductive and naïve to his feelings, made Luke angrier than ever. He grew cold, dropping his hands from her and stepping back. His voice was low and angry, perhaps even a little heartbroken.

"You can't just kiss me and expect your problems to go away," he trailed off. "You have no idea, do you? You don't know how I feel. I don't know what else to say… just go. Please," he glowered.

Lorelai, angry at the rejection and possibly the most confused she had been in her entire life, spun on her heel and bolted for the door.


	2. Of Taylor and Paint

Chapter 2 – Of Taylor and Paint

"_I recognize the way you make me feel  
It's hard to think that you might not be real_"

Michelle Branch, 'Everywhere'

- - - - -

His words were in her head all night. Lorelai didn't quite know what he meant by them, but they were something to think on. _'You don't know how I feel…'_ She hated to admit it, but Luke was right. Lorelai had no idea what he was thinking. She didn't know that he was in love with her. She didn't know that kissing her was his dream. She didn't know how much she had hurt him.

She lay in bed, watching the red numbers of her digital clock blink forwards. It was near three o' clock in the morning and she hadn't slept a wink. Rolling onto her back, Lorelai stared at the ceiling. Seized with impulse, as it seemed she had been lately, she rolled back to her side and reached for the phone. Dialing the number she knew well, she tapped her fingers on the nightstand, sitting up so her feet were on the floor. The phone at the other end rang, and after about three rings she grew distressed and took the phone from her ear. A voice growled into the receiver, just in time.

"What?" Luke grumbled.

Lorelai froze. Apparently she didn't think this through. What was she going to say to him? It was three o' clock and she had made a move at him only a couple of hours ago. A sudden realization hit her. What had she been thinking? He was Luke, her Luke. Luke, her friend. She slapped her hand to her forehead, scolding herself for being so stupid.

"Ow!" she exclaimed, not realizing that Luke was still on the phone.

"Lorelai, is that you?" he asked. "Lorelai?" he inquired again when she didn't answer.

"Crap," she mumbled, rubbing her forehead.

"LORELAI!" Luke yelled into the phone.

She was busted. Putting the phone back to her ear, she paused before speaking with hesitation.

"Yeah, it's me. Who else would it be? I mean, nobody else would be calling you at three, no wait, three o' five, in the morning, would they?" she stopped, realizing how stupid she sounded.

"What do you want?" he asked quietly.

Taking a deep breath, she spit out the words as quickly as possible.

"I'm sorry, Luke, again. I know it was totally out of place. I was upset and vulnerable from Chris. I just needed a friend, and you were there. But then I had this dream, when you kissed me, and I was pregnant, and then I wondered what it would be like to really kiss you. I'm sorry… It was out of place, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I'm just going to forget it ever happened. You can too, if you want. I mean, I don't know what you meant when you yelled at me, but I'm sorry if I've ever caused you any pain that I don't know about. I'm going to go now," she rambled on, stopping only when she ran out of breath.

She half expected Luke to accept her apology, because she knew neither one of them could stand being mad at each other. Where would she get her coffee fix? Lorelai twirled the phone cord around her finger, awaiting Luke's response. When nothing came, Lorelai spoke again.

"Luke? I'll see you in the morning, okay?" she asked.

"Diner's closed tomorrow. I'm painting, remember?" he grunted in reply.

"Oh yeah…" she was supposed to be helping him.

"I'll see you at nine," se said with a sigh, slamming the phone down on the receiver.

Lorelai heard the click and shrugged. He still sounded mad, but at least he said he'd see her soon. She was still a bit confused as well. Although, when she tried to go to sleep this time, she was dreaming in minutes.

- - - - -

She had walked past the diner at least five times before she could muster enough courage to stand on the step. Lorelai looked through the door, past the 'closed' sign, towards the vacant counter. Taking a deep breath, she turned the handle, finding it unlocked this time. Luke had been expecting her. With a quick glance around the diner, she knew that he must be upstairs. Starting towards the counter, she stepped back behind and poured herself a cup of coffee. It was then that Luke plodded down the steps from his apartment. He stiffened at the sight of Lorelai, but quickly recovered and scared her from behind.

"What are you doing? You still aren't allowed to be back here, even if we're closed," he scolded.

She jumped, not having heard his approach. Fiddling with the coffee pot, she stuffed it back in its place, grabbing her mug and sliding from behind the counter. '_He didn't think that last night, did he Lorelai?'_ She quickly pushed that thought from her mind, giving him a half-smile.

"Good morning grumpy," she joked.

Luke gave her a glare. An uncomfortable silence enveloped them, and with a grunt and a nod, Luke removed himself to the kitchen to bring her breakfast. She relaxed when he left, not being able to ignore the tension between them. However, he returned too quickly, a steaming plate of pancakes and bacon in his hand.

"There. You'll need your strength for today," he stated.

Turning away, Luke started to gather the supplies for painting. The diner walls were bare, the furniture gathered in the middle. Luke covered the floor with a plastic tarp, pouring the paint that Lorelai had picked. He found some rollers and brushes, laying them out. He turned back towards the counter as Lorelai hopped from the stool, finished with her breakfast and finishing her coffee. Setting the cup back down as she drained it, Lorelai approached Luke and grabbed a roller.

"Come on mister, let's get started. I'm a wild painter, just to let you know," she grinned.

Slapping the paint onto the wall, she had the honor of putting the first new touches of color on Luke's diner. He rolled his eyes, grabbing a roller and beginning. They worked in companionable silence for a while, Luke watching Lorelai from the corner of his eye. He was tense and nervous; what had made her kiss him last night? He didn't want anything to happen again. Luke feared that this time he wouldn't be able to stop it.

Lorelai noticed that Luke was a bit quieter than usual. She dropped her roller into the tray, stretching her back.

"You're kidding me, right? You can't possibly be done already…" Luke questioned, seeing her head for the counter after only fifteen minutes.

Lorelai glanced backwards at him, faking a swoon.

"I need my coffee, and I need it now. One cup only lasts so long," she refilled her cup, leaning against the front of the counter as she watched him go back to painting.

Luke continued, aware of her gaze upon him the whole time. The back of his neck was getting hot and he stumbled, dropping the roller with its full load of paint. It landed on his shoe, splattering drops all over his pants. He glowered with anger, stooping down to pick it up. Lorelai smirked, burying her face in her mug. Glaring, Luke spoke for the first time in a while.

"What's so funny? You're lucky I didn't _accidentally_ drop it on your foot…" he growled.

In response, Lorelai stuck out one of her own feet, almost daring him to. He started forward with a threatening look, but that smile was hidden in his eyes. She faked fright, turning away to scuttle behind the counter. He grabbed her arm without thinking, stopping her in mid-step. Surprised, she felt the forgotten coffee mug slipping from her hand. She struggled to recover it, Luke's hand still on her arm. Too late, though, for the mug hit the floor and crashed into a million pieces. Bending down quickly, Lorelai's head met Luke's with a bang, sending her reeling backwards. Apparently they both had the same idea.

She found herself on her butt on the floor, amidst the broken mug. She put a hand to her head, blinking the stars from her eyes. Luke dropped down to sit beside her, imitating her posture. Damn, that hurt! Lorelai was the first to speak. She leaned back against the counter, her eyes closed.

"Ow. You, Mr. Danes, have an iron skull," she grunted with pain, hands massaging her scalp.

The throbbing in Luke's head was nearly gone, so he figured she must be right.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

Luke scrambled to his knees, taking Lorelai's hand to help her up. She made it to her hands, or rather hand (seeing as Luke was currently holding the other one), and knees before a sudden pounding at the diner door interrupted them. Lorelai jerked Luke's hand, pulling him down behind her behind the counter, his head over her shoulder. Impulsively, he smelled her hair that tickled his nose.

They peered around the corner to see that a crowd of angry Stars Hollow residents was gathered on the step of the diner. Apparently the 'closed' sign didn't mean anything. Luke made a move to get up and tell them to bugger off, but Lorelai stopped him.

"No, they'll leave," she whispered.

She was right. Within seconds, the crowd, headed by Taylor, was in retreat. Luke gratefully relaxed, glad to be relieved of the duty of being mean so early.

"Thank you," he sighed in her ear.

She turned her head towards him, catching his gaze. Her heart skipped a beat and then lurched into her throat.

"You're welcome," she said softly.

It was then that they both realized the position they were in. Their lips inches from each others, both could only think about what had happened just last night. Lorelai tilted her head curiously, looking into his eyes, as if asking a question. Did she finally see what everyone had been saying? '_It's in the way he looks at you. It's in his eyes.'_ She looked away from his intense blue gaze, swallowing. Lorelai scrambled to her feet, backing away uncomfortably. Luke followed, but he did not move after her.

"I should clean this up," he gestured to the mess.

"Um… oh, yeah…" she stuttered.

Lorelai moved to sit on a stool, Luke finding a broom and pan. Once again, they were just Luke and Lorelai, friends on the opposite sides of the counter; although it was getting hard to pretend.


	3. Of Dancing and Surprises

Chapter 3 – Of Dancing and Surprises

"_There is nothing for me but to love you  
And the way you look tonight_"

Frank Sinatra, 'The Way You Look Tonight'

- - - - -

She_ did_ see it in his eyes. All day long she saw it in his eyes. Every look he gave her, every brush of shoulders as they passed one another, she saw it. And then she began to feel it. Her knees went wobbly, her cheeks turned red, her heart leapt into her throat and stayed there. Lorelai Gilmore was head over heels in love with Luke. And she was afraid... very afraid.

Why she didn't realize it before was a mystery to her. He was the constant figure in her life, the one she could always lean on when things with Chris or others didn't work out. Every morning she secretly couldn't wait to go to the diner, get her coffee, and exchange some witty banter over breakfast.

She was surprised by her sudden strong feelings. After all, she had only just discovered this today. But in the back of her mind, Lorelai knew that she had always loved Luke. She loved teasing him, she loved his flannel shirts and backwards baseball cap, she loved his scruffiness, she loved the way he smelled, she loved his grumbling, she loved his eyes. Yes, she was head over heels in love with Luke Danes.

However, she seemed to hide this fact extremely well from Luke himself. Sure, there was the usual chemistry between them, but nothing out of the ordinary, seeing as they had kissed just last night. The only cue to Luke that she was fighting a mental battle with herself was that Lorelai was exceptionally quiet. When Luke questioned her about this, she blamed it on the radio. About an hour ago, she had insisted on the Oldies station, much to Luke's displeasure. The song playing now was one of her personal favorites.

'_Some day, when I'm awfully low  
When the world is cold  
I will feel a glow just thinking of you  
And the way you look tonight'_

Lorelai smiled, noticing how uncomfortable Luke looked. She knew his secret; he could waltz. She took pleasure in embarrassing him, and was just about to say something sarcastic when he held out his hand.

"Ha, I win! I kn-" she happily babbled, slapping her palm into his.

"Shut up and dance," he growled.

'_With each word your tenderness grows  
Tearing my fear apart  
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose  
It touches my foolish heart' _

One of her hands rested on his shoulder, the other Luke held in his own. He was a fairly good dancer. Anything that involved Lorelai made him nervous though. It took him a moment to find the beat, hardly helped by the half-smile-smirk on her face. It was still surprising to her that Luke could manage anything of finer arts.

Lorelai felt so good in his arms, so right. He sighed, bringing their bodies closer together as he waltzed her around the upturned tables and chairs. They had danced once before, at Liz's wedding. It had been more romantic than this last time. Rather than paint-covered and exhausted, they had been dressed up, outside versus the diner, dreamy lighting and softer music…

'_Mm, mm, mm, mm  
Just the way you look to-night'_

As the song ended, Luke twirled Lorelai around before dipping her against his arm in a final move. He left her breathless, and she giggled as she clutched his shirt to keep from falling. However, Luke nearly dropped her when he saw somebody at the door. Lorelai shrieked with surprise, grabbing the nearest table for support. Giving Luke a puzzled look, she followed his gaze and realized why she had almost ended up on the floor.

"Oh…" she whispered.

'_Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm  
And your cheeks so soft  
There is nothing for me but to love you  
And the way you look tonight'_


	4. Of Wining and Dining

Chapter 4 – Of Wining and Dining

"_I thought I'd forget you but I guess I forgot to  
And lately I've been too confused to think_"

Collin Raye, 'I Can Still Feel You'

- - - - -

He unlocked the door an opened it, blocking the entrance. His gaze flickered back to Lorelai for a moment, confusion and surprise present in his eyes. Lorelai gave him a strange look, flattening her t-shirt and smoothing her hair.

"Rachel…" Luke deadpanned.

Her fingers twirled with nervousness as she looked between Lorelai and Luke.

"Is now not a good time?" she asked.

You would have thought by now that Luke had learned his lesson. How many times had things turned out like this? Rachel would come back, he would love her all over again, and then she would leave without a word. It was always the same, but somewhere deep inside, Luke believed that maybe this time she would stay. Rachel was his Christopher, per say. His shoulders slumped and he sighed, tipping his chin to permit her entrance.

"No, come in. I'll get you some coffee," he suggested.

"Thanks," Rachel said.

The atmosphere in the diner was quite uncomfortable. There was Lorelai, flustered and still clutching the edge of the table that had broken her fall. Her cheeks were red and her eyes bright, as if she and Luke had been doing much more than dancing. Passing a glance at her, Luke narrowed his eyes, daring her to say or do something that could possibly ruin this oh-so-happy-not-at-all-uncomfortable reunion with Rachel. He ushered Rachel to the counter, pouring her a cup of coffee. That was _Lorelai's_ coffee, not hers! Luke was _Lorelai's_, not hers!

At that specific moment in time, Lorelai wanted to do one thing; rip the hairs from Rachel's head strand by strand. Jealousy boiled up in her at once, though she was able to hide it well by looking away from the scene. It seemed that Luke had forgotten about their painting; he sat at the counter next to Rachel, talking to her as she sipped her coffee. Lorelai sighed, pushing off of the table and making her way swiftly to the counter. Grabbing her purse and jacket, she waved a goodbye to Luke and Rachel.

"I should be going," she rushed.

Luke, confused, tried to persuade her to stay.

"No, Lorelai, stay. It's ok," he said.

Lorelai quickly shook her head no, her hair flying into her eyes. She stumbled onwards, slinging her purse over her shoulder.

"I'll go. You two have a lot of catching up to do."

In a flurry, she was gone. The bell over the door jingled as she left, then left Luke and Rachel in silence. A part of Luke wanted to jump up and follow Lorelai, but Rachel's hand on his arm was winning. She looked at him, smiling to get his attention. Her thumb rubbed circles on his tense muscles.

"Luke… I'm staying for good this time. No more leaving, no more goodbyes," she whispered.

She leaned forward and kissed him. Luke closed his eyes, but all he could see was Lorelai Gilmore's radiant smile as he waltzed her around the diner.

- - - - -

She hated Friday night dinners. She absolutely despised them. With Rory in D.C., they were even worse than usual. She stalled, passing the time by trying on about a million different outfits. She settled on a black dress, long-sleeved with a v-neck, probably more appropriate for a date than dinner at her parents' house. Oh well…

Lorelai searched for her keys, carrying her heels in her hand, and found them in the freezer. '_How did they get there?'_ She shrugged, dropping the shoes and slipping her feet into them. Grabbing a sweater, she left the house and got to her Jeep in one piece.

When she got to the Gilmore residence, she didn't even have to ring the doorbell. Her mother opened the door, a strained smile on her face.

"Lorelai, you're late!"

Gesturing her inside, Emily took her daughter's purse and sweater, passing them off to the maid.

"Hello to you too, Mom," Lorelai muttered, following her mother inside.

Emily Gilmore was not a nice woman. But even she wouldn't invite Christopher to dinner, would she? Lorelai was shocked to see him sitting on the sofa, sharing a drink with her father. When she entered behind her mother he looked up, a small smile on his face. Lorelai slowly walked to towards him, perching on the edge of the sofa by his side.

"Lor, hi…" he said slowly.

Apparently he believed that Lorelai had known he was coming and had chosen to come as well. That was not the case. Lorelai threw a shocked look at her mother, but Emily was acting as normal as Emily always acted. Suddenly, a thought came to Lorelai's mind. Maybe, perhaps, just possibly, she had forgotten to mention to her parents the fact that they had broken up because Christopher's girlfriend was pregnant. The last time Richard and Emily had seen them, they had been all over each other at Sookie's wedding. Great…

Her mother's voice rang in her ears, breaking Lorelai's trance.

"Lorelai! Won't you have something to drink?" she asked.

"Um… a martini please," Lorelai answered, distracted.

Not soon enough, the glass was placed in her hand. Her mother sat next to her father, her face beaming brightly. She had always known Lorelai and Chris would work things out. Lorelai downed her martini in a few gulps, setting the glass on the coffee table. She rubbed her hand on her thigh, taking a deep breath to inform her parents on the current situation.

"I think there's been a mistake. Christopher and I, well… we're not-" she was cut off, of course.

"Mrs. Gilmore, dinner is ready," the maid interrupted.

"Thank you, Louise," Emily answered, rising from the chair and leading the dinner party.

- - - - -

Lorelai was quiet for most of the dinner. So far, she had avoided a major confrontation with either Chris or her parents, but her nerves were wearing thin. Suddenly, out of the blue, Emily put her fork down, turning to Lorelai and bluntly stating how she felt.

"I think it's wonderful that you and Christopher are back together," Emily said.

That was the breaking point. Slamming her fist against the table, Lorelai lost it. With wide eyes, she began to yell.

"No, Mom, it's not wonderful. Chris and I broke up! Do you want to know why? He got his girlfriend pregnant! PREGNANT!" Lorelai gasped, rising from the table and turning to go.

Her mother sunk back into her chair, appalled. Now that was the last thing she expected to hear. For once, Emily Gilmore was speechless. She looked towards Christopher, wanting to know if this was true. His downward gaze and defenseless posture let her know it was.

Lorelai turned back around before reaching the door, chest heaving. She spoke to Christopher quietly, her blue eyes freezing him like ice.

"Chris, can I speak with you please?" she said slowly.

Christopher, understanding that to refuse would mean death, stood and started towards the foyer. Lorelai turned and stomped out of the dining room, Chris close behind, leaving her dumbstruck parents sitting at the table.

As soon as they were clear out of hearing range, Lorelai wheeled around and stopped, Chris nearly running her over. She took a step back, arms dangling at her sides, fists clenched.

"Lor…" he whispered to her.

He reached out to touch her, but the tone of her voice stopped him in his tracks.

"No, don't call me that," she lowly growled.

Chris dropped his outstretched hand, his gaze searching her face.

"What are you doing here, Chris?" she asked coldly.

He shrugged helplessly, sticking his hands in his pockets for lack of a better place to put them.

"You didn't return my calls… I wanted to talk to you, try and work things out…" he trailed off.

This set Lorelai off again. She yelled at him then, letting all of her frustration and disappointment flow from her lips.

"No, Chris! I don't want to talk to you! Can't you see? We're over, done for, down the drain… I'm sick of being disappointed, I'm sick of being hurt, I'm sick of having my heart broken. All because of you! I hoped, oh I hoped, that you had finally gotten control of yourself, but I was wrong. And I don't want to get hurt again. So _please_, just go…" she trailed off, dropping her eyes.

Chris, hardly frazzled, reached out a hand and traced her jaw with his fingertips. A loving embrace, a kind word, and he could make her forget about the hurt. It had always worked before, but not this time. Lorelai stepped back swiftly, turning her chin away. Something faltered in her gaze though, and Christopher saw it.

"I love you Lor," he said softly, leaning forward to brush his lips lightly against hers.

Lorelai closed her eyes and turned her face away from his once again. She was quiet for a moment, silently avoiding his gaze. Suddenly she looked up, locking his eyes with her own, forcing him to look at her. Lorelai shook her head slowly.

"No you don't."


	5. Of Cats and Frosting

Chapter 5 – Of Cats and Frosting

"_I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose  
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose_"

Sarah McLachlan, 'I Will Remember You'

- - - - -

She didn't cry. Lorelai knew now that she had wasted too many tears on Christopher. She felt relieved, almost. Christopher would no longer be there to interrupt her life. He had always expected her to be waiting for him, pining for him, longing for him. But that was a different Lorelai. She didn't need him now; she didn't need anyone.

She vowed this would be their final breakup. Set in stone. When Chris had kissed her, there was something missing. The spark that had always existed between them was gone. Lorelai didn't feel the usual butterflies in her stomach, so she had taken that as a sign. She didn't love him anymore and he knew it.

She was awake at the crack of dawn. Lorelai rolled out of bed and got dressed, choosing a typical work outfit. She didn't even bother to brush her hair; instead, she pulled it back in a ponytail, stray curls escaping to frame her face. With a little lip gloss and some mascara, Lorelai was ready to start the day. And it was before nine o' clock.

When she pushed open the door of the diner, Luke was behind the counter as usual. He held a coffee pot in his right hand and wiped the tabletop with a rag in his left. Immediately surprised by her early entrance, Luke cocked an eyebrow at her. Lorelai shrugged it off, nearly sprinting to the counter. By the time she reached his side and settled in a chair, Luke had a steaming cup of coffee in front of her. Lorelai, distracted, ignored it. That surprised Luke even more. Knowing her for years, he could tell by the look on her face that a discussion was coming. She started and proved him right.

"Maybe I should get a cat," Lorelai stated.

Luke leaned on his elbows across from her, looking at her like she went crazy. However, he knew better than to comment.

"Long night?" he asked with sympathy.

"I could name it Christopher and Rory could call it daddy," she went on, "and then Emily could feed it sardines and buy it a little collar, you know, with a bell on it that rings every time I do something wrong, and invite it to Friday night dinners without letting me know, and then it would scratch my eyes out in the hallway because I refused to return its calls," Lorelai sighed, giving up.

Luke ogled at her, thinking she had finally lost it. He turned away with a smile on his face, getting control of himself before attempting to find out what happened.

"That bad, huh?" Luke sympathized.

At his comment, Lorelai threw her hands in the air, glaring at him with untamed eyes.

"Yes! We had a screaming match and then he said he loved me but I said he didn't and then he left and then I left and then…" she trailed off, shrugging.

"I'm sorry," Luke said.

She shook her head wildly at this, her entire face glowing as she smiled.

"Don't be. You're looking at the new Lorelai Gilmore. She's a free woman. She's also not going to get a cat, because cats make her sneeze. She would appreciate a donut, by the way, if a certain someone would get if for her," she beamed at Luke, knowing that he would take the hint.

Luke obliged without a word, picking a chocolate frosted one from the top of the pile. He set it in front of her on a plate. Lorelai, obviously shocked at his lack of objection, questioned him playfully.

"What? No 'don't eat the evil donut because the frosting of death will kill you' bit this morning?" Lorelai faked shock, taking the first bite of the donut.

Luke shrugged, watching as she wiped the 'frosting of death' from her face. Lorelai knew something was up and she could not leave it alone.

"How was Rachel?" she questioned slyly, a smirk on her face.

Luke was backed into a corner. He avoided her gaze, shuffling away, faking the need to refill coffees. Lorelai caught him though, and belted out an obscene comment for all to here.

"Oh! Hey everybody, guess what? Luke got lucky last night! Where is she? Did you wear her out?" she turned back to him, grinning.

Luke, obviously mortified, stopped in his tracks. He glared at Lorelai, looking flustered.

"Lorelai!" he whispered, hissing at her under his breath as he began to blush.

"Oh, Lucas, you hunk-a-burnin-love!" she giggled.

Luke started towards her, a threatening look on his face. Taking the hint, Lorelai stopped her teasing.

"Relax, lover boy, I'll stop," Lorelai said.

Luke did relax then, but the flush still remained in his cheeks. It mortified him how Lorelai could tease him about his sex life so openly, and in front of the breakfast crowd! Lorelai, grabbing the rest of her donut, headed for the door after bidding him goodbye. Nearly gone, a thought entered her mind and she turned back.

"Hey Luke… since you're in such good spirits, is there any way I could drag you to the festival tonight? Pretty please?" she smiled widely at him, giving the classic pout.

Even though he hated such functions, Luke could not resist a Gilmore girl pout. Either Lorelai or Rory, both knew how to manipulate him. He sighed, nodding shortly.

"Good! I'll be here at 8," Lorelai said as she made her way towards the door once again.

Luke watched her go, a small smile on his face.

"Oh, and bring Rachel!" she called out of courtesy as she left, although it panged her to say it.

She didn't see the smile on his face fade ever so slightly.


	6. Of Firelight and Luke

Chapter 6 – Of Firelight and Lu-Luke

"_I don't even know if he still thinks of me  
Once he got on board that unforgiving train_"

Laura Pausini, 'Loneliness'

- - - - -

She arrived at the diner by 8:30, pushing the door open with a jingle. Sure, she was a bit late, but that was nothing uncommon. Turning around to pull the door shut behind her, she began to speak loudly.

"Hey Luke, sorry I'm late. Coffee, my coffee man?" she yelled.

Her eyes scanned the diner and she noticed that Luke was nowhere to be found. Instead, Rachel sat alone at the counter, sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of Lorelai's voice she turned around smiled. Lorelai blushed a bit, for some unknown reason, feeling uncomfortable.

"Hey Lorelai. Um… Luke's upstairs," Rachel stated in welcome.

Lorelai started towards the counter, slinging her purse over the back of the chair next to Rachel.

"Hi Rachel… oh, okay," Lorelai replied.

She helped herself to a cup of coffee, entering the forbidden behind-the-counter area. Of course, it was then that Luke chose to come down from upstairs. Lorelai heard his footsteps on the stairs and scrambled from behind the counter. Not quick enough…

"Lorelai!" he growled.

She just flashed him a brilliant smile, settling down on the chair next to Rachel. The three of them talked quietly about nothing in particular while the Lorelai and Rachel finished their coffee. By the time they were ready to go outside, it was dark and nearing 9:00. The town square was lit up with brilliant lights and one of Taylor's special bands from the city was playing quiet music in the gazebo.

Lorelai was gone in a flash, off to grab some of the famous punch the town served on such special occasions. Rachel and Luke, left alone, wandered around the square for a moment. They walked side by side, shoulders nearly touching, and there was an air of electricity between them. Luke looked at her from the corner of his eye, smiling a bit. _'This is how it is supposed to be.' _Rachel caught him staring and returned his gaze. Luke grunted and stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking away. He was silent for a moment, but then something came to mind.

"Rachel?" he asked.

"Yeah?" she replied, curious.

Before Luke could get any words out, something had caught her eye. Rachel turned away from him, watching as a young couple danced. With a gesture to Luke and a quick apology, she was gone to take pictures. Luke just shrugged and found a bench. Sitting down, he leaned back and ran a hand across his face.

Rachel was back within five minutes, settling herself next to Luke. He idly commented on her photography.

"You getting some good stuff?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Rachel nodded, looking out across the square.

"Oh yeah, yeah, the firelight really changes people. You know, makes them seem happier, freer, all troubles of the world completely gone," she trailed off with a sigh.

"I don't think that's the firelight. I think it's the party punch they've been selling," Luke replied with a wry smile.

Rachel looked at him, shrugging her shoulders.

"Oh yeah, that stuff is good," she commented.

They were quiet for a moment, sitting in companionable silence. Something was on Luke's mind, and for once he wasted no time.

"Okay, at some point, are you gonna tell me what you're doing here?" he questioned sharply.

Rachel, surprised, looked down. She was fiddling with her camera and had no trouble brushing off the question.

"I'm putting more film in my camera," she said.

Luke, exasperated, sighed quietly.

"Rachel…" he said.

Rachel looked up then, avoiding Luke's gaze.

"What? I told you, I was at the airport, now I'm here," she stated obviously with a shrug.

Luke was growing more and more annoyed by the moment. He sat up, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Oh well sure, when you put it like that," he grunted, irritated.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't sound all that happy to see me," Rachel stated with a tense look directed towards Luke.

This set him off. He turned to look at her, his eyes burning with something.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you have a tendency to show up and then leave, quite suddenly. One of your more charming attributes," he sarcastically replied.

It seemed that Rachel, too, was reaching the point of annoyance with Luke.

"So you're not happy to see me?" her voice rose quickly but then quieted as she continued. "Luke, I don't know what I'm doing here. I just missed you. I wanted to see you. I don't know what else to say," she said truthfully, finally meeting his eyes.

Luke was surprised. He didn't know he was capable of being missed. Sighing, he closed his eyes for a moment to calm himself down. When he opened them, he saw Rachel looking at him.

"I missed you too…" Luke quietly answered.

They looked at each other for a moment before Rachel broke the gaze. Her eyes traveled around the square, finally coming to rest on Lorelai, where she stood by the punch table. Turning back to Luke, Rachel spoke with a nod in Lorelai's direction.

"So since we're both being blunt, what's the deal with Lorelai?" she questioned.

Luke was surprised again. He followed Rachel's gaze, noticing how his heart leapt into his throat at the sight of Lorelai. Flustered, Luke looked back at Rachel.

"What are you talking about?" he said, averting his gaze briefly.

"I'm talking about Lorelai, the lady who runs the inn, the one you've told me absolutely nothing about, and been very careful to leave out of every story, anecdote, or gossip about the town," Rachel blurted out.

Luke for once knew what the proper thing to say would be. He continued with no hesitation.

"There is no deal with Lorelai. We're friends," he said simply.

"For now?" Rachel asked, wishing she could believe it.

"Yes," Luke said, supporting his answer with a nod.

"And in the future?" she inquired.

"Well, Lorelai is, she's just uh… I don't know. I mean, at times it seems like… I don't know. But I am happy to see you," Luke stated with finality.

Satisfied, Rachel nodded and rose from the bench.

"Good. I'm gonna get some of that party punch. You want some?" she asked.

Luke made a face, shaking his head no. Rachel smiled.

"Oh Luke, some things never change," she said as she left him alone.

Luke watched her walk away, silently cursing himself for becoming so flustered about her questions. Lorelai was just his friend. His friend. His friend.

Who was he kidding? She wasn't just his friend. She wasn't his friend. She wasn't his friend. He loved her. As if on cue, the one and only Lorelai plopped herself onto the bench next to him, a cup of punch in her hand.

"So, where's Rachel?" she teased lightly.

Luke looked over at her, shrugging.

"She's a party punch junkie," he stated.

Lorelai feigned shock, smirking as she commented.

"God, even the nice girls aren't safe," she said with a chuckle.

"Yeah, she's been running around here taking all kinds of pictures," he declared.

Lorelai held back a sigh, deciding on a safe response.

"She's having a good time," she said.

"I guess so. I hope so," was Luke's reply.

A silence enveloped them, feeling a bit uncomfortable for some reason. Lorelai searched her brain for a topic and decided on the inevitable.

"So?" she questioned.

Luke looked at her strangely, raising and eyebrow.

"Yes?" he replied.

"So, what's the haps with you two?" Lorelai questioned.

Luke looked a bit confused.

"The haps? Well, let's see. What is the haps?" he asked.

Lorelai, realizing that he didn't get it, was quick to explain, articulating.

"I mean, like, you know, what's going…" she clarified.

"I know what you meant by the haps," Luke said, a bit annoyed.

"Okay, well you're repeating it like a thousand times," Lorelai replied, frazzled and uncomfortable.

"I was pondering," Luke said, rolling his eyes.

"Well you ponder really slowly," Lorelai chastised.

"If I did it fast it wouldn't be pondering. Pondering by nature is a slow connotation," Luke replied with exasperation.

"Okay. Fine, fine," Lorelai shut up.

They sat there for a moment, neither one looking at the other. Lorelai was abnormally quiet, letting Luke do all the pondering he needed. Still, when he didn't say anything for quite a while, she grew curious and had to speak.

"Is she staying?" she questioned warily.

Luke looked at her, sighing. He didn't know if she was staying.

"I don't know," he sighed.

"Do you want her to?" Lorelai asked, on a roll.

"I don't know," Luke replied truthfully.

Lorelai went quiet again, thinking. With a nearly inaudible sigh, she continued.

"She seems to really like you," Lorelai said.

"Yeah, she does, but she doesn't have the greatest attention span," Luke replied bitterly.

"Yeah," Lorelai agreed.

"I don't know. You spend a lot of time debating things, you know… is it right, is it wrong, should I do this, should I do that. I mean, sometimes you should just jump in and take a shot. What's the worst that can happen? She left before, I lived. Maybe this time…" Luke trailed off, looking at Lorelai.

Lorelai's eyes were downcast and she fiddled with a ring on her finger. His words ran through her head, and she took a moment to sort them out. When she spoke again, it was with a genuine tone.

"I think that's really great," she said.

"You do?" Luke's eyebrows shot up with surprise.

"Yeah," Lorelai said softly.

"Thanks," Luke said, just as quietly.

"You're welcome," Lorelai replied.

The conversation was over. Both of them knew it, but neither seemed to know what to say next. Lorelai kept her eyes on her lap and Luke looked away. Gruffly clearing his throat, he started to rise.

"Well, I guess I'm gonna go check up on Rachel," he bid Lorelai goodbye.

"That's nice," she nodded, looking up at him.

"What?" Luke asked, confused yet again by Lorelai's attitude.

"That you have somebody you can go check up on. That's nice," Lorelai clarified.

"Yeah it is. Unless she's completely drunk and throwing up," Luke feebly attempted a joke.

"Still nice," Lorelai said with a chuckle.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Luke confirmed.

"Tomorrow," Lorelai nodded

As she watched him walk away, Lorelai felt her heavy heart beating in her chest. '_Lu-Luke, Lu-Luke, Lu-Luke…'_

Something seized her the moment she got home. The house was empty and dark. Lorelai felt extremely alone and extremely tired. Perhaps there was something in that punch after all? Tossing her keys on the table and removing her jacket, Lorelai looked around for something to do. Her gaze fell on the phone. The impulse was back…

She dialed the number she hadn't dialed for quite some time, surprised that she still knew it by heart. Her palms began to sweat as the phone rang, and she idly tapped her fingers on the tabletop. When he answered, she spoke without hesitation.

"Hey Max, it's Lorelai. Can I come over?" she asked.

What's the worst that can happen?


	7. Of Failures and Fears

Chapter 7 – Of Failures and Fears

"_Leaves me with the feeling that I fear the most  
Feel it come to life when I see your ghost_"

Foo Fighters, 'All My Life'

- - - - -

It was raining when Lorelai walked into the diner the next morning. Instead of her usual place at the counter, she picked a table near the window. Luke was nowhere in sight. Instead, it was Rachel who was serving the customers. Lorelai watched her for a moment, marveling at how much she seemed to feel at home. A tiny bit of Lorelai's heart ached at the thought of Rachel staying for a long time. Instead of Lorelai, it would be Rachel who Luke looked towards for his morning conversations. Her thoughts were interrupted by Rachel herself, complete with a steaming pot of coffee. She smiled at Lorelai, lifting the pot in a suggestive gesture.

"Coffee?" she asked.

"Thanks."

Lorelai sighed, nodding and holding out her cup. Rachel filled it, but before she could leave to attend to the others, Lorelai stopped her with her name.

"Rachel? I want to talk to you," Lorelai requested.

Rachel, surprised, nodded her head and set the coffee pot on the table. She sat down across from Lorelai, who looked at her over the rim of her cup. Lorelai waited for a moment before speaking.

"Luke is my best friend and all I want is for him to be happy," Lorelai stated calmly.

Rachel just looked at her, a confused expression on her face. She knew that Luke and Lorelai were friends. Where was this conversation going?

"Me too," Rachel replied.

"He's wonderful, kind, caring, and only deserves the best," Lorelai continued, looking Rachel in the eye.

"I know," Rachel said, nodding.

Lorelai sipped at her coffee, glancing away from Rachel at the sound of footsteps. Luke had come down from upstairs and was brewing a fresh pot of coffee. Lorelai had to smile at that.

"I don't want him to get hurt again," she said with finality.

Rachel was silent, staring at her hands. She knew what Lorelai meant by that. She was basically accusing Rachel of hurting Luke, and Rachel couldn't deny the truth. After all, Lorelai had been there when Rachel left the first time. Rachel felt Lorelai's eyes on her and rose her own to meet the other woman's gaze. With a solid voice, she spoke again.

"I love him," Rachel declared, almost daring Lorelai to continue.

Even hearing those words come from Rachel made her hurt.

"Then maybe you should do the right thing and leave now before he gets too attached," Lorelai murmured quietly.

Rachel recoiled, looking at Lorelai with shock. What was she saying? Her eyes narrowed as she looked at Lorelai, currently occupied with her nearly empty cup of coffee. Deep in her heart though, she knew Lorelai was right. Taking a deep breath, Rachel recovered quickly and rose from her chair just as Luke came over to their table, surprising both Lorelai and Rachel. He set a steaming breakfast plate in front of Lorelai.

"Oh, you're a god. Thanks," Lorelai said, digging into her pancakes eagerly.

Luke just looked at her with that trademark half-smile. He turned to Rachel then, who was hovering behind him, out of the way. He pecked a good morning kiss on her lips. Rachel didn't respond. She shrugged off his hands and left without a word, the diner door slamming behind her.

Lorelai watched this scene with discomfort, pretending to be engaged with her breakfast. When Luke looked towards her, she dropped her eyes to her breakfast quickly, knowing she was caught. Luke crossed the short distance to her in three steps, resting his hand on the surface of the table. He looked down at her, his gaze intense and angry. He had witnessed Lorelai and Rachel talking, and by the way Lorelai was acting, he knew something was up. Lorelai faked innocence, beginning to ramble as she poked at the pancakes with her fork.

"Geez Luke, these pancakes are great! Did you do something different? I think you did, because they're better… more syrupy or buttery or something. Whatever it is, keep-" she was interrupted by Luke.

"Lorelai, stop. What did you do?" he asked in a low and irate voice.

She looked down, avoiding his gaze. When she didn't speak for a moment, he got agitated.

"Lorelai?" he demanded.

Lorelai forced herself to meet his gaze, cringing as she saw the anger in his eyes.

"Nothing… I-" Luke interrupted her again.

"Don't lie to me, damnit!" Luke yelled, a bit louder than he intended.

Both of them realized that all eyes in the diner were on them. Lowering his voice, Luke jerked his head towards the stairs. Stepping away from the table, his body language screamed for Lorelai to follow him, and quickly. Meekly, she rose from her chair, avoiding the curios eyes of the customer by keeping hers trained to the floor. Yelling to Cesar that he was taking a break, Luke led the way up the stairs, Lorelai trailing reluctantly behind him.

As soon as they reached the door of the apartment, Luke pushed it open and allowed Lorelai to pass. Sometime on the short distance here, Luke had managed to calm himself down sufficiently. Maybe he was overreacting; after all, he didn't know for sure what Lorelai had said. Of course, that was what he was going to find out. Closing the door behind them, Luke turned to Lorelai and crossed his arms over his chest, sending her a glare.

"What did you do? And don't lie to me Lorelai," he nearly warned.

Lorelai started on a whim.

"I went to see Max last night after the festival," she said softly.

Luke rose and eyebrow at this, but let her continue without speaking.

"I hurt him a lot. When I left, I broke his heart," Lorelai said.

Luke heaved and exasperated sigh, uncrossing his arms and staring at her. His intense look made Lorelai take a deep breath, plunging in for the first blow.

"I don't want her to hurt you again like I hurt Max," Lorelai finally blurted out.

At this, Luke wasn't at all surprised. What he didn't understand was why Rachel had left so suddenly without a word. He knew there was something Lorelai wasn't telling him. In frustration, he pulled his hat from his head and ran a hand through his hair. At last, he spoke again.

"Do you love him?" he asked Lorelai.

Shocked, she withdrew a few steps, backing away and shaking her head.

"No, I don't," she said softly.

Satisfied with her answer, Luke continued to prove his point.

"Well, Rachel loves me. That's the difference," he stated.

Lorelai was angered by that. She inhaled sharply, eyes blazing with something resembling anger. Or passion.

"Tell me then, why did she leave before? Why did she leave just now, when you kissed her?" she spat out the words.

Luke's suppressed anger boiled up in him, erupting from him like a fountain. Words flowed from his mouth, words he never thought he'd ever say to anybody, let alone Lorelai.

"Stop it! Just stop! I'm not Max and Rachel isn't you. This is different, Lorelai. This is an adult relationship. They take work, you know. You can't run when things get tough. You have to stick it out, know that it will work because it just has to!" he took a breath. "And just to let you know, I'm not afraid of commitment. I'm not you, Lorelai! I won't let some simple obstacles destroy my relationship. She loves me," Luke trailed off, noticing the hurt look on Lorelai's face.

When did this turn into 'Bash Lorelai's Relationships Day'? She stood in front of Luke, her best friend, completely silent as he yelled about her failures and fears. Lorelai looked down, noticing the uncomfortable silence between them. She willed the tears not to come as she gathered the courage for one last statement. She looked into his deep blue eyes, nearly whispering the words.

"Do you love her, Luke?" she asked.

Luke wasn't expecting that question. He was visibly shaken, holding her gaze with intensity. She was just standing there, waiting for him to answer. Luke gathered his thoughts, pondering. Then it hit him; he didn't know the answer to her question. At a loss for words, he did the only thing he could think of.

He turned and left Lorelai alone, tears running down her face.


	8. Of Pictures and Goodbyes

Chapter 8 – Of Pictures and Goodbyes

"_I need to tell you how you light up every second of the day  
__But in the moonlight you just shine like a beacon on the bay_"

Elton John, 'Something About the Way You Look Tonight'

- - - - -

A week had passed.

Rachel knew there had been a confrontation between Luke and Lorelai after she left. Upon her return to the diner, Luke was tensely serving the customers coffee. Rachel, not wanting to disturb him, had wandered upstairs. She had found Lorelai, red-faced and winded, sitting on the couch. Rachel had been concerned, of course, for it wasn't in her nature to hold grudges. She had asked Lorelai what was wrong, but Lorelai refused to talk. Soon after, Lorelai had stumbled down the stairs and out of the diner, never sending Luke a glance. Rachel had put two and two together and had come up with the fight theory.

Luke was miserable. He yelled at the customers, broke at least five dishes, and wouldn't leave the diner. He would hardly talk to Rachel, even when she urged him to open up and tell her what was wrong.

For Rachel, it was a week from hell. Every time the diner door opened, Luke would get this look on his face. A hopeful look, as if he wished Lorelai would appear in the doorway, begging for coffee like everything was normal. Rachel was forced to stand beside him, watching as that hopeful look faded into despair.

She knew what was wrong. Luke needed Lorelai in his life. He needed her, every morning, to come in and talk to him, get her early morning coffee fix. When Lorelai wasn't there, Luke became a different man. He was not only quiet, but bitter. He hated everyone, wouldn't talk, and radiated misery.

Luke without his Lorelai made Rachel realize something; Luke didn't love her. He loved Lorelai more than anything in the world. And, surprisingly enough, this fact didn't hurt Rachel. She knew what she had to do.

She had developed her pictures from the festival. There were quite a few good ones. The best made her heart ache though, if only a tiny bit. It was of Luke and Lorelai, talking on the bench. The camera had captured Luke's face at the perfect moment. His gaze on Lorelai, a half-smile on his lips, the picture of him showed all the things he'd never say.

That night, Rachel packed her bags. Luke was closing the diner, so she was alone upstairs. Gathering her things was quick; she hadn't unpacked much, as if she knew she would be leaving soon. She walked down the stairs, the heels of her shoes loud on the narrow staircase. Luke stood at the counter, idly rubbing a rag on a spot that had disappeared long ago. He looked up when Rachel came, confusion in his eyes as he saw her suitcase.

"Rachel. You're leaving," he stated with a sigh.

Rachel nodded, dropping her suitcase by the stairs as she went behind the counter.

"Why?" Luke asked.

Rachel smiled sadly, shaking her head. She looked away from Luke, down at the picture she held in her hand, the perfect one of Lorelai and Luke.

"You don't love me," she said with conviction.

Luke's eyebrows rose, but he refused to meet her gaze.

"Rachel, I…" he tried, before trailing off.

Rachel took a step closer to him, setting the picture down gently on the counter in front of him. She watched realization come onto his face as he stared at it.

"Luke… don't wait too long to tell her, okay?" Rachel said.

When she left, the bell over the door jingled with finality. Luke watched her retreating form until it disappeared. Looking back down at the picture, his fingers traced the edges lightly. Even in the photograph she was beautiful.


	9. Of Wallowing and Misery

Chapter 9 – Of Wallowing and Misery

"_Don't know what I'm gonna do about this feeling inside  
Yes it's true, loneliness took me for a ride_"

Aerosmith, 'Angel'

- - - - -

She was wallowing in her despair. What the hell was wrong with her? She and Luke hadn't been dating, and as far as she knew, wallowing only applied to boyfriend breakups. However, Luke was her best friend and a week without him was not her favorite thing in the world.

Lorelai sat on the couch in sweats and a t-shirt, clutching a carton of ice cream on her lap. She was eating from the carton with a spoon, no bowl included in the picture. The TV blared some strange movie that she didn't know the name of. It distracted her enough from her thoughts that it didn't really matter what it was about.

Lorelai pondered calling Rory, but she didn't want to disturb her daughter so late at night. Washington was good for her; she was having a blast with all of those 'future leaders of America' people. Finishing off the rest of the ice cream, Lorelai dropped the spoon in the bottom with the muffled sound of metal on cardboard. Sighing, she flipped off the TV and headed for the kitchen just as the phone rang.

"Hello," she said wearily.

"Hey Mom. What's going on?" it was Rory.

She hesitated to tell Rory about everything that had transpired since her absence. Lorelai's long silence immediately clued Rory in though; something was up.

"Mom? Are you okay?" she prodded gently.

"Luke and I broke up," Lorelai sighed into the phone.

That wasn't exactly the truth; to break up meant that they must have been dating, which they weren't. Rory was confused.

"What?" she questioned.

Lorelai, recognizing how her statement sounded, was quick to reassure her daughter that nothing like that had happened.

"We had a fight. Over Rachel," she said.

"Rachel? Luke's Rachel?" Rory had heard of her before.

"Yeah, Luke's Rachel. There was definitely some yelling involved…" Lorelai replied.

"Oh Mom, I'm sorry," Rory tried to comfort her mother.

"Don't worry kid, I'll be okay. Now, tell me about this conference of yours. How's the guy selection? You know, I've never been a fan of the dorky type, but sometimes glasses can just do it for you…" Lorelai rambled on and on as Rory interjected suddenly.

"I have to go Mom, late night debate," Rory said.

"You're kidding, right?" Lorelai was amused.

"Yeah. And Mom?" Rory questioned.

"Yes daughter of mine?"

"Talk to Luke. I'm sure you guys can work it out," Rory hung up.

Lorelai kept the phone to her ear for a moment, thinking over what Rory had said. If only she knew the whole truth. Sighing, she pushed the 'off' button with finality. She dropped the phone on the couch amidst the pile of pillows and grabbed the empty ice cream carton, resuming her trek to the kitchen. A knock on her door stopped her yet again. Lorelai's eyebrows vanished into her hairline, but turned back and crossed the living room towards the foyer. Another knock (actually, more of a pound) came, and Lorelai shouted with exasperation.

"I'm coming! Relax!" she said, pulling open the door.

The last person she had expected to see was standing on her porch, an uncomfortable expression on her face.

"Hi Lorelai. Can I come in?" Rachel asked quietly.

Lorelai was deemed speechless. Nodding, she pulled the door open wider to allow Rachel to pass. In those few seconds, Lorelai managed to get a grip on herself again and offer Rachel something to drink.

"Do you want some coffee or anything?" Lorelai asked.

Rachel stopped, shaking her head 'no'. The look on her face had changed from cautious to determined. Crossing her arms in front of her body, Rachel started talking.

"I left Luke," she started.

When Lorelai tried to interrupt, 'I told you so' in her eyes, Rachel held up a hand to stop her.

"I know I'm probably not your most favorite person right now, but just hear me out, okay?"

Lorelai nodded, swallowing thickly.

"As I was saying… I left Luke. I thought I was ready to settle down with him, maybe start a family, but I was wrong. I'll never be that girl, you know, that girl who can stay in one place forever. It's just not me. I need the sense of adventure, of surprise, of packing up and going wherever I want to," she paused for a breath. "I thought I loved Luke, but I was wrong. I guess I loved the idea of Luke; the idea of having someone who was there for me, no questions asked, and who loved me. It would have been fine if he _had_ loved me. But he stopped loving me the last time I left," Rachel finished then, looking at Lorelai.

Lorelai didn't know what to say to this so she just stared. Her hands played with the hem of her shirt, her eyes looking anywhere but at Rachel. This was the last thing she was expecting to hear.

Rachel could sense her bafflement, so she continued with her speech.

"You don't have to say anything Lorelai. You were right. I'm leaving now and I won't be back, so you can stop worrying about any interference from me," Rachel stated with a point.

"Interference with what?" Lorelai was confused.

Rachel just gave her a knowing smile and turned for the door. With a look over her shoulder and a flash of bright eyes, she got to the point of her whole visit.

"Luke cares about you Lorelai. He's been miserable this past week, and from your choice of outfit and the empty carton in your hands, so have you. Just forgive him, okay? He needs you to come into that diner every day," Rachel smiled slightly and left.

Lorelai, dumbfounded, stood at the front door, watching Rachel walk away.


	10. Of Movies and Reconciliation

Chapter 10 – Of Movies and Reconciliation

"_All of the stars are fading away  
Just try not to worry you'll see them some day_"

Oasis, 'Stop Crying Your Heart Out'

- - - - -

Getting over her anger and calling Luke to invite him over for a movie ranked right up there in the list of 'hardest things she'd ever had to do', just behind telling her parents she was pregnant. He sounded normal on the phone, if a little distracted by the happenings in the diner. Luke accepted her request, and was due to arrive any minute now.

Lorelai was nervous. What was she supposed to say to him? The last time she'd seen him he had yelled at her about her failed love life. She was still angry with him, hardly believing calm and docile Luke was capable of such a verbal bashing. But Lorelai desperately needed to talk to him, to find out what he was thinking, especially after Rachel's impromptu visit.

At exactly 8:05, Luke knocked on the front door. She was there in a flash to let him in. Opening the door wide, their eyes fell on each other for the first time in weeks. Luke carried bags of food, a thermos of coffee in his left hand. Lorelai's smile widened when she saw this. Weeks without Luke's coffee had left her bitter; no other coffee was as good as his. Standing in the frame of the door, she didn't know what to say.

"Um… can I come in?" Luke asked carefully.

Jolted from her thoughts, Lorelai moved aside with a nod to let him pass. Luke brushed by her and she followed, allowing the door to fall closed behind her. She trailed behind him to the kitchen, and when she entered, Luke had the food out of the bags and spread on the table. He looked up when he heard her shoes squeak on the floor.

"Eating in here or in the living room?" he questioned.

Lorelai swallowed, heading towards the table to help him gather the food.

"Living room's fine," she said.

The tension between them didn't go unnoticed. Luke cleared his throat and handed her the junk food before finding the salad he brought for himself. Seated at opposite ends of the couch, Luke noticed immediately that Lorelai hadn't made a move to turn on the movie. Instead, she was silently eating her cheeseburger, not looking at him.

"Ah… Lorelai?" Luke asked.

"What?" she replied.

Luke looked at her carefully for a second, noticing how she avoided his gaze. They fell into silence when he didn't respond to her question, instead choosing to look away and pick at his food. A few tense minutes later, he spoke again.

"Rachel left," he stated.

"I know," she responded.

"What?" he was a bit surprised. "How did you know?"

Lorelai looked at him seriously for a moment, her burger abandoned.

"She told me," she said. "She came here, to my house, and told me."

Luke was stunned. As far as he knew, Lorelai and Rachel weren't the best of friends. Why would she come to Lorelai's house and tell her she was leaving? Luke voiced his questions.

"Why would she do that?" he asked.

"I don't know," she said, with a shrug of her shoulders.

Luke was enormously curious.

"What did she say?" he questioned yet again.

"Geez Luke, enough with the questions already!" Lorelai responded, a bit angered.

"Sorry," he said softly.

Lorelai was quiet a moment before replying with the answer.

"She said she couldn't stay in one place, that she needed adventure," Lorelai paused, "and that she thought she loved you but she didn't."

Luke let this information sink in. It surprised him that he wasn't more upset by this revelation. Rachel's confrontation of him, accusing him of feelings, should have been a heads up. Processing this information, he was quiet. Lorelai startled him when she spoke again.

"She said she wasn't going to interfere anymore," she said.

Luke knew exactly what that statement meant, and wisely chose not to respond right then. They were quiet for a long time, but this time it was he who spoke first again.

"I'm sorry," he declared. "I shouldn't have said those things to you. It wasn't in my place to judge you. They weren't true, and-" she cut him off.

"Of course they were true Luke! You basically summed up all of my relationships in a paragraph!" she yelled, rising from the couch to pace.

Luke watched her as she walked away. Apparently apologizing wasn't going to be enough.

"I thought you were my friend, but a friend wouldn't say something like that, even if it was true," she had started to cry. "Do you want to know what else Rachel said? She said you cared about me and you needed me to go to the diner everyday. I guess she was wrong," Lorelai stopped talking, blue eyes flashing with anger.

By now, Luke was standing also, hands clenched in fists at his side. The couch separated them, but he closed the distance in two steps. Her chest was heaving as she struggled for breath, tears burning trails in her flushed cheeks. Luke hesitated a moment before reaching up a hand to brush them away. She jerked her head away, spinning on her heel so her back was towards him. Hurt, Luke let his hand fall back to his side. They stood like that for the longest time, Lorelai struggling to get control of herself, Luke hovering behind her, trying to think of something to say.

"Lorelai, she wasn't wrong. Of course I care about you. You're my best friend," he paused. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Before him, her shoulders slumped forward. He could hear that she was still crying with muffled sniffles. Hesitatingly, he reached out his hand and laid it on her shoulder lightly. The faintest touch, and she turned around to bury her face in his flannel shirt. Her tears came freely now, and Luke knew what he had to do. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. Murmured words of comfort were whispered into her hair, and he pulled her down to sit on the couch.

He held her like this for the longest time, his arms moving so that one was in her hair, the other around her shoulders, her face beneath his chin on his chest. When her sobs finally softened, she sniffed and looked up at him, a small smile on her face.

"I missed you, Luke," she said.


End file.
